wearingguess | prisminbox!

Different things every day! But I had a very good pheasant dish recently. Ah, and crab curry... and the stuffed apricots from the vendor on the edge of the market in level 2... and the guava cheese empanadas from the vendor in the middle. And I am working my way through all the flavors and toppings on the crepes from the stand in the park. I like plums a good deal. I don't care for raw carrots, but they are excellent roasted. Have you had baklava before?

[He doesn't deign him with an answer.]

Titus.

Edited 2019-10-22 01:14 (UTC)

[He grabs Titus's face and pulls on his cheeks.]

How do you expect to live that long when you eat so much junk? Didja think you could magically make all your fat disappear? How about the fat that could clog your arteries? That could kill you, you know? That could kill you. And you're buying all that with chroma? That could kill you too. Are you gonna use all your chroma on fatty foods and die? You wanna die, Titus? Maybe I should kill you right now.

[ he blushes ferociously and slaps yan qing's hands away!! ]

How is it junk?? All food contains calories. Calories provide energy! That is why I can cast as much magic as I want! [ he's absolutely confident that he's right about this!! and NO scheherazade did not cover more than the extreme basics of nutrition science but that's literally not even relevant. ]

And that's not how spending chroma works, either!! But fine, just go ahead and kill me, then!

Woah, hahaha! Calm down. No one's gonna kill ya.

[Said the guy who just threatened to do that?? See, when he threatens to kill a friend, he usually expects them to beg for their lives and repent or something. He'll need another less violent and traumatizing strategy. Hmm.

He takes the gentle approach.]

If you like crab curry that much, all you gotta do is say so. But Titus, I'm serious. I'm not gonna stop you from eating your favorite food. But when you get older, you gotta watch what you eat. And I want you to live longer! So it's better to start good habits soon. Everything in moderation.

[Uh, he won't correct his misconceptions about calories. That's not his job. He's not qualified to do that.

Anyway.]

Besides, you need all that extra chroma to spend on Marga, right?

[Time to pat his hair and calm him down. There, there.]

Edited 2019-10-22 02:42 (UTC)

[ the only thing more mortifying than having someone try to calm him down as though he were a pet is the fact that it works... ]

Oh.
I don't know if I am actually going to get any older. I mean, whether I live longer or not. Lady Scheherazade is close to three hundred, and she looks even more youthful than I do... [ and she didn't tell him about her secret basement body before sending him off, so as far as he knows, it's all natural! ]

Of course, I am not a magi like her. But even so, I doubt this body was designed to grow and change. I am sure that would have made its creation orders of magnitude more complicated, and after all, I was never really intended to be around long enough for it to matter whether I seemed to be aging normally.

Learning that made me feel sad, but for some reason it also pisses me off.

[Yan Qing's body isn't meant to age either, but hearing Titus say it like that still pisses him off! So he claps Titus's face with great force. He is now a wizard sandwich.]

Alright, no more excuses! I'm teaching you how to cook!

Edited 2019-10-22 04:00 (UTC)

Ouch!! Why are you angry?!
—And I didn't make any excuses to begin with!!

[He pulls Titus so close, their foreheads nearly touch.]

Listen. You want you and Marga live longer, right? These are just the things you gotta do to make sure of that. So if no one's gonna teach you basic life skills, then I'm gonna do it myself!

Yan Qing...
...
You know basic life skills?

[He picks Titus up like a sack of rice and walks toward the balcony.]

[ he wriggles and kicks!!! ]

Stop! What are you doing?? Where are we going? I can't fly without my wand!!

It'll be fine! You have that shield thingy, doncha? I'll just drop you for a bit and see how you like it...

Then I'll take you down with me! [ he viciously entangles one hand in yan qing's hair! with the other, he...
...well, he can't reach his dick from here, but he grabs his shirt really hard! ]

[please don't grab his dick like that. it is big and many people will miss it.

Anyway, he yelps and starts cursing as he tries to pull them both away from the balcony.]

You idiot! You're gonna kill us both!

[NO NO NO NO WHY ARE THEY SO CLOSE TO THE RAILINGS]

[ YEAH, WHY?? HOW DID THEY POSSIBLY END UP IN THIS SITUATION ]

Then at least you will deserve it!

[ ahhh... they're partway over... the rail...
but it's going to be fine, right??
the parts of them that aren't over the rail are heavy enough to counterbalance them back to safety, right???

with a frightened noise of dismay, titus hides his face against yan qing's back... (if he can't see what's going on, then nothing bad can actually happen, right????) ]

[Yan Qing also makes a frightened noise of dismay, but he's mostly worried about Titus letting go and falling to his doom. Yan Qing is like, a cat. He'll be fine, maybe? If he remembers to catch himself.

It's kind of hard to remember anything right now.

Because they are falling.

Don't worry! They're still at the balcony. They're just hanging from the outside part. Yes, he screamed. But only because Titus was also screaming (probably).]

Well, this is one way to hang out.

[He's dangling from the side with one hand. The other has Titus in tow. Thank you, universe and Yan Qing's stupidly strong arms.]

Titus! Whatever you do, don't let go and don't look down.

Why would I let go??

[ having said that... he does look down. almost immediately.

wow!! they sure are high up! ]

Ah, the balcony from the apartment one level down is right there.

Okay.

[Normally he wouldn't give a heads up, but he likes Titus, so.]

Titus, I'm gonna let go. Don't panic, alright?

Ah... r-right.
Okay... yes, all right...
I just need a moment to prepare first...

[ alright alright alright.
this is gonna be totally safe and easy
so easy, so safe, it's honestly ridiculous how easy and safe

ah his hand is still super tangled up in yan qing's hair. ]

Oh, I need to... your hair...
Don't let go yet!! [ he yelled that more loudly and suddenly than he intended to. but it's not his fault!! he just panicked a little!! ]

[holy fuck don't yell so close to his ear?? he nearly let go that time!]

Aaaaah! Alright, alright, jeez! Not like we're four fingers away from certain doom.

[Where are his limbs? Where are anybody's limbs? All I know is Yan Qing is dangling from a building and it's a miracle no one's reported them yet.]

Take it easy. I've done this before, trust me. I let go, and we land on the balcony. You sure you can't cast magic like this?

Oh!
Oh!!
I thought...
I thought you were going to drop me. Onto the balcony.

[ but instead they're going to drop together!! that's... technically not much better, but it feels a lot better. ]

...No, I can't. My borg is innate, but to cast spells, I need a staff or a wand... something to channel my magoi through.

[He's not going to do that! He knows mages are delicate. If they weren't, they'd kick him aside and tell him they don't need him anymore or something. At least, that's what it seems like in his mind.

Anyway.]

I dunno if I like where this is going.

I definitely can't cast magic with that!

...

I... I am ready. Let go.

[ he's not actually ready but yan qing probably can't hold on forever so he's just going to Not Look and wish for the best ]

[ He lets go, but not in the way Titus expects.

The second he releases Titus, it is upward. He tosses Titus up in the air and lets go a moment after. The view is nice from up there, right? Yan Qing certainly seems to think so, because when Titus lands, it is in Yan Qing's arms. His feet are flat on the balcony. They're safe! And one of them is possibly traumatized, but Yan Qing doesn't seem to mind all that much. Please don't try this at home, kids. ]

Wahahahaha! That was close. Didn't think I could pull it off, but I did it!

[ It also wasn't fucking necessary but here we are. ]

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